Everyone who knows me in person (and anyone who closely follows my twitter or Facebook) so, basically my family and some really funny stand-up comedians in California – knows I went to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico with my designer friend Carol for a full week of relaxing vacation just the other week. The town was amazing – one of the most welcoming vacation atmospheres I have ever encountered and everyone was friendly and helpful with my very basic Spanish.

Carol took this as the plane came in for a landing

Look – Look – the city!

Our hotel, Playa Los Arcos was just right – not overly fussy, yet not so basic that you were afraid to sleep at night. Our room was a pool view that instantly became ocean view if you simply turned your head slightly. That’s my kind of “pool view”!

This is the “pool view” balcony view.

Great hotel room

Obligatory badly exposed immediate vacation selfie!

Arriving early Tuesday afternoon on a quick Southwest flight directly from Houston we spent the afternoon and evening just wandering around quite happily. Wednesday was a full day of exploring the outskirts of the city and more browsing (I love my new wrap skirt!) and of course lots of great local food.

View from the table during first lunch. BEACH!!

Thursday, we woke up early (so early at 6:45!!!!) to arrive at the port for our excursion. The trip out to the secluded beach was great with a stop for snorkeling where I saw real ALIVE swimming fish and also had time to just sit and look at the ocean. The trip back was even better as Pancho and his crew put on a full out Vegas-style extravaganza. These guys were good – anyone who can legitimately breakdance on a moving boat gets kudos from me.

Names of our amazing excursion crew!

We arrived back at port and were told to call in the following morning before our next scheduled excursion. I asked why and was told that the port might be closed due to a thunderstorm. I did think this was odd – since this was a major port that regularly hosted multiple ginormous cruise ships – why would a thunderstorm close the port? Maybe lighting works differently in Mexico?

Back at our hotel the front desk was quick to reassure us that it was just going to be a storm and everything would be fine. So, Carol and I went up to our room, changed and were getting ready to go out to dinner. We checked our phones before leaving to eat and both of us had ALL THE TEXTS FROM EVERYONE asking “are you leaving?” “have you left?” I looked on the weather channel and just felt my heart skip a beat. Immediately we called Southwest to change our flights (which involved the Verizon operator since even with a Mexico calling plan added you can NOT call many 800 numbers from a cell phone internationally) and they were amazing. Southwest I love you!!

New outgoing flights confirmed, we went to dinner and then back to the room to sleep since we were planning on getting up at 6am to try for standby on an earlier flight. I could not sleep and sat out on the balcony trying to find any earlier flights. At about 3:00am I checked Southwest.com and discovered our flight was canceled. This was very disturbing as by now the news about Patricia was more disturbing every hour. There may have been a bit of staring into space listening to the waves and chanting “I am in my happy place” over and over. I did find lots of flights out of Guadalajara but was not sure how we would get there. Thanks to the amazing Verizon international operators I was able to book placeholder seats out of Guadalajara (one to Houston for Carol and I would have ended up in LA) Going to LA would have been exciting and I figured maybe one of my random stand-up comic followers could recommend a good place to eat! Looking at the news about the store at that point I would have taken a flight rerouting me through Frankfurt at that point! Hey – would be great to return as an adult of legal drinking age during October!

I packed up my stuff and then repacked with visions of apocalyptic running for our lives from torrents of shark infested water – this is what happens when you watch too much SyFy channel. So, everything I HAD to keep was in my over the shoulder “handbag of holding” from thinkgeek.com (ON-SALE NOW – you should buy one!) and the rest of my stuff that could be left if necessary was in my rolling carry on. Side note: my handbag of holding contained my passport and documents, 2 changes of clothes, anti-bac wipes, granola snacks, 2 bottles of water, 3 books, and other sundries. Yes, books are essential.

Action shot of bag of holding and important necessities

*I read (re-read) all three books during the trip home.

At 4am I woke Carol up and she packed up (she is a very fast and efficient packer) I ended up being glad that one of us was running on more than 20 minutes of sleep! She was great at keeping me from running into walls at the airports.

We checked out and got a cab to the Puerto Vallarta airport, but there was only one flight confirmed going out and zillions of people sitting in the terminal waiting for news. This is where the indomitable hospitality of the locals really impressed me. Our driver agreed to drive us the 6 hours to Guadalajara if necessary but first drove us to the bus station where there were NO BUSES available. He shuffled us back into his cab and took off like a bat outta hades to the next terminal. He ran up to the counter and then frantically waved us inside and made sure we got tickets for the next bus leaving in just a few minutes. (I later found out he also helped out other travelers who ended up on the bus with us get to the correct counter – awesome, awesome man!)

Blurry pic of the glorious countryside during the bus ride to Guadalajara.

By about 5:30am we were on the bus and had an exciting journey to Guadalajara. Our driver was a cross between a demolition derby participant and Mario Andretti! His ability to pass other vehicles on a narrow winding mountainous road in a manual transmission bus is surely unparalleled. During the bus trip I got to watch two different action movies dubbed in Spanish. Yes, Liam Neeson kicks butt in any language!

Thanks to Expedia (and Carol having a very quick finger on the “refresh” button), we got two actual, real airfares back home to Houston via Mexico City with only about a 4-hour layover in Mexico City. Mexico City was fine – at least the airport seemed nice. Arriving back in Houston I was exhausted – totally unable to sleep at all during the journey home – Carol again helped steer me in the right directions!

This is me running away from a Hurricane on negative sleep.

After getting home, I found out through the news that the Mexican authorities did eventually evacuate everyone to a safe shelter which was great to know. I was worried since no one in the city seemed aware of just how bad Patricia could have been. Katrina was only a 3!! When asked what I would have done if there had been no buses I detailed my full plans:

1. Fly out – nope
2. Get a bus – yes
3. Rent a car – possible buy unlikely and woah crazy driving in Mexico!!
4. Take a cab
5. Bum a ride with anyone going out of town (there were lots of people at the gas stations)
6. Final choice would have been to shelter in place (this would have meant buying a few cases of water, paper towels for hygiene, and granola)

So, instead of a full seven days in paradise I had 3 amazing days with an added bonus adventure at the end! I do plan on returning to Puerto Vallarta again (direct flights make it super quick). Oh, and Matt (I know you[‘re reading this) I’m just a bit ticked off that you planned your vacation the week after mine! Say hi to the amazing city and people for me – let me know if the pancakes at Freddy’s are really as amazing as we were told.

Lessons Learned:

1. INTERNATIONAL CALLING PLANS!! Verizon your reps were amazing – they didn’t just help me connect calls, they ALL stayed on the line with me and offered great advice with a sense of humor.
2. Southwest was great! Truly the airline of love.
3. Again, get the appropriate calling plan added to your cell phone in case the land line in your hotel doesn’t really work.
4. Never underestimate the power of a smile and positive attitude.
5. 6 foot charging cables are amazing!
6. Wheels on your carry luggage. WHEELS!
7. Puerta Vallarta is amazing – definitely will go again.
8. If there is an emergency have a backup plan and a backup plan for the backup plan.
9. Keep smiling – keep perspective. I was blessed to have the ability to leave – if the worst had happened many were not.
10. Carol is an amazing travel friend!
11. Be nice to people – they are freaked out just like you!
12. Ask for advice from people who have been there and done that – Thanks Dad for the email of “things to do if you absolutely MUST shelter in place during a massive Hurricane”
13. EVERYONE MUST BUY AND DRINK THIS STUFF!!

You must buy this – DRINK IT!!