Archive for category Big Questions
What Are You Holding?
Posted by deeryjennifer in Big Questions, penguins, Work on March 24, 2018
This has been a year of seemingly unrelenting change. Moving from one state to another, beginning to work remotely, and figuring out how to regain a sense of security. While much of the change has been positive – even good things can be stressful.
After settling into my new home, I realized that this was an opportunity to develop new habits. So, I began to try to consciously enjoy something fantastic every single day. Today I marveled at the way it rained while the sun was also shining. Tomorrow I may wonder at the trees or the mountains in the distance, but taking that time each day to just enjoy the beauty around me makes every day better.
Employment change was empowering but also shocking in ways I had not anticipated. It was an honor to know that I was trusted enough to be allowed to continue doing work I loved from my home. However, it was a shock to go from working in a busy in-house creative agency where the team worked directly above the sales floor, to my dining room. I love that there are fewer noise distractions around me and I can play whatever music I want while working. Thankfully, with internet and video conferences, personal interaction is still possible. Without technology, remaining in day-to-day contact with the rest of the remote and in-house team would be much more difficult. Imagine having to conduct business via regular mail only! Really brings home how much of an advancement the telegraph must have been.
Moving and making adjustments to a new way of working were easy compared to the challenge of regaining a sense of security. Just about 2 years after my carjacking I am finally able to get gas for my car without being nervous and scared every time. (I’m only nervous and scared about half the time I get gas now!) So, things are getting better. I am learning to be patient with myself and that it is OK to feel afraid or nervous. We are all pressured to be self-sufficient and able to take care of things by ourselves. But I have seen how glad others are to be given a chance to help. From gas station attendants that have helped me when I couldn’t pump gas without shaking in fear to friends who have stayed on the phone with me “just in case another crazy man with a gun runs up to me again” I have been helped in so many ways by friends and strangers.
Most of all, I have learned that you only have to let go of things that you hold onto. Good and bad experiences both can weigh us down if we hold onto them too tightly. What you allow to be dominant in your thoughts – what you hold onto – is what you will be most aware of. It is amazing how when you focus and dwell on negative things; you suddenly see negative experiences everywhere. I have become much more aware of my day to day thoughts both positive and negative. I don’t think that it is possible to be positive all the time, but I know that I CAN decide what sort of thoughts and feelings I will choose to focus on. Moving forward is difficult when mired in the swamp of the past. Rather than focusing on letting go, I choose to be more selective about what I hold onto. Beautiful sunsets, laughing with my family, the taste of root beer floats – these things I will hold onto. Oh, and of course – Penguins! Always Penguins!
My Unbalanced Life
Posted by deeryjennifer in Big Questions, Work on August 2, 2016
No thank you – I’ll gladly take the wobbles!
Work Life Balance. How to achieve a healthy work/life balance. Five steps to balance your Work vs. Life dynamic. Variations on these headlines have been popping up all over the place this year. Every magazine has the latest expert with a new or revamped method to achieve a balance between your work and your life.
How to achieve a healthy work/life balance. Five steps to balance your Work vs. Life dynamic. Variations on these headlines have been popping up all over the place this year. Every magazine has the latest expert with a new or revamped method to achieve a balance between your work and your life.
I object. Scratch that. I STRONGLY object. I don’t like the phrasing because it sets up a binary win or lose scenario. Either you find balance, or you do not. If you don’t achieve the goal of work/life balance, then you have failed to achieve your goal and failure is bad, so you are now a bad, bad failure.
Yes, this is over simplifying, but the idea makes sense to me. My work and my personal life are not balanced. They could never be balanced because balance implies you have somehow managed to make both things equal. A scale is not balanced if one of the things being measured is heavier than the other. In reality, there are times when work is a priority. If you have an unexpected deadline, a horrific web-site crash, a customer service nightmare – all of these scenarios would warrant spending more time working to fix the problem. Anyone who knows an accountant is well aware that the months leading up to Tax filing are “no-gos” for spending time out to dinner, vacations, and such because accountants are holed up performing number alchemy for clients.
Also, work/life balance separates work from your life. But, isn’t your career a huge part of your life? Rather than make an endless to-do list of tasks and trying to categorize each one as either part of work or life how about just living?
Every profession has times where getting the job done requires a skewed prioritization of time. At the same time, if I’m on vacation visiting with family then I am not going to be on the phone with work or checking email 24/7. Why? Because for me, vacation is notably defined by an absence of work.
Instead of trying to do the impossible I prefer to think of how best to prioritize my life. Sometimes I give priority to my personal life. Sometimes I give work a priority. There are times when personal events may pre-empt work and vice versa, but this method works for me.
So, write books, create blog posts, and make videos about a system that will help people achieve a healthy work-life balance. I will keep my unbalanced life. If there are added wobbles here and there that is OK – the best adventures happen when you lose balance and fall off-course.
Windy Vacation! – Waltzing Patricia
Posted by deeryjennifer in Big Questions, vacation on October 29, 2015
Everyone who knows me in person (and anyone who closely follows my twitter or Facebook) so, basically my family and some really funny stand-up comedians in California – knows I went to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico with my designer friend Carol for a full week of relaxing vacation just the other week. The town was amazing – one of the most welcoming vacation atmospheres I have ever encountered and everyone was friendly and helpful with my very basic Spanish.
Carol took this as the plane came in for a landing
Look – Look – the city!
Our hotel, Playa Los Arcos was just right – not overly fussy, yet not so basic that you were afraid to sleep at night. Our room was a pool view that instantly became ocean view if you simply turned your head slightly. That’s my kind of “pool view”!
This is the “pool view” balcony view.
Great hotel room
Obligatory badly exposed immediate vacation selfie!
Arriving early Tuesday afternoon on a quick Southwest flight directly from Houston we spent the afternoon and evening just wandering around quite happily. Wednesday was a full day of exploring the outskirts of the city and more browsing (I love my new wrap skirt!) and of course lots of great local food.
View from the table during first lunch. BEACH!!
Thursday, we woke up early (so early at 6:45!!!!) to arrive at the port for our excursion. The trip out to the secluded beach was great with a stop for snorkeling where I saw real ALIVE swimming fish and also had time to just sit and look at the ocean. The trip back was even better as Pancho and his crew put on a full out Vegas-style extravaganza. These guys were good – anyone who can legitimately breakdance on a moving boat gets kudos from me.
Names of our amazing excursion crew!
We arrived back at port and were told to call in the following morning before our next scheduled excursion. I asked why and was told that the port might be closed due to a thunderstorm. I did think this was odd – since this was a major port that regularly hosted multiple ginormous cruise ships – why would a thunderstorm close the port? Maybe lighting works differently in Mexico?
Back at our hotel the front desk was quick to reassure us that it was just going to be a storm and everything would be fine. So, Carol and I went up to our room, changed and were getting ready to go out to dinner. We checked our phones before leaving to eat and both of us had ALL THE TEXTS FROM EVERYONE asking “are you leaving?” “have you left?” I looked on the weather channel and just felt my heart skip a beat. Immediately we called Southwest to change our flights (which involved the Verizon operator since even with a Mexico calling plan added you can NOT call many 800 numbers from a cell phone internationally) and they were amazing. Southwest I love you!!
New outgoing flights confirmed, we went to dinner and then back to the room to sleep since we were planning on getting up at 6am to try for standby on an earlier flight. I could not sleep and sat out on the balcony trying to find any earlier flights. At about 3:00am I checked Southwest.com and discovered our flight was canceled. This was very disturbing as by now the news about Patricia was more disturbing every hour. There may have been a bit of staring into space listening to the waves and chanting “I am in my happy place” over and over. I did find lots of flights out of Guadalajara but was not sure how we would get there. Thanks to the amazing Verizon international operators I was able to book placeholder seats out of Guadalajara (one to Houston for Carol and I would have ended up in LA) Going to LA would have been exciting and I figured maybe one of my random stand-up comic followers could recommend a good place to eat! Looking at the news about the store at that point I would have taken a flight rerouting me through Frankfurt at that point! Hey – would be great to return as an adult of legal drinking age during October!
I packed up my stuff and then repacked with visions of apocalyptic running for our lives from torrents of shark infested water – this is what happens when you watch too much SyFy channel. So, everything I HAD to keep was in my over the shoulder “handbag of holding” from thinkgeek.com (ON-SALE NOW – you should buy one!) and the rest of my stuff that could be left if necessary was in my rolling carry on. Side note: my handbag of holding contained my passport and documents, 2 changes of clothes, anti-bac wipes, granola snacks, 2 bottles of water, 3 books, and other sundries. Yes, books are essential.
Action shot of bag of holding and important necessities
*I read (re-read) all three books during the trip home.
At 4am I woke Carol up and she packed up (she is a very fast and efficient packer) I ended up being glad that one of us was running on more than 20 minutes of sleep! She was great at keeping me from running into walls at the airports.
We checked out and got a cab to the Puerto Vallarta airport, but there was only one flight confirmed going out and zillions of people sitting in the terminal waiting for news. This is where the indomitable hospitality of the locals really impressed me. Our driver agreed to drive us the 6 hours to Guadalajara if necessary but first drove us to the bus station where there were NO BUSES available. He shuffled us back into his cab and took off like a bat outta hades to the next terminal. He ran up to the counter and then frantically waved us inside and made sure we got tickets for the next bus leaving in just a few minutes. (I later found out he also helped out other travelers who ended up on the bus with us get to the correct counter – awesome, awesome man!)
Blurry pic of the glorious countryside during the bus ride to Guadalajara.
By about 5:30am we were on the bus and had an exciting journey to Guadalajara. Our driver was a cross between a demolition derby participant and Mario Andretti! His ability to pass other vehicles on a narrow winding mountainous road in a manual transmission bus is surely unparalleled. During the bus trip I got to watch two different action movies dubbed in Spanish. Yes, Liam Neeson kicks butt in any language!
Thanks to Expedia (and Carol having a very quick finger on the “refresh” button), we got two actual, real airfares back home to Houston via Mexico City with only about a 4-hour layover in Mexico City. Mexico City was fine – at least the airport seemed nice. Arriving back in Houston I was exhausted – totally unable to sleep at all during the journey home – Carol again helped steer me in the right directions!
This is me running away from a Hurricane on negative sleep.
After getting home, I found out through the news that the Mexican authorities did eventually evacuate everyone to a safe shelter which was great to know. I was worried since no one in the city seemed aware of just how bad Patricia could have been. Katrina was only a 3!! When asked what I would have done if there had been no buses I detailed my full plans:
1. Fly out – nope
2. Get a bus – yes
3. Rent a car – possible buy unlikely and woah crazy driving in Mexico!!
4. Take a cab
5. Bum a ride with anyone going out of town (there were lots of people at the gas stations)
6. Final choice would have been to shelter in place (this would have meant buying a few cases of water, paper towels for hygiene, and granola)
So, instead of a full seven days in paradise I had 3 amazing days with an added bonus adventure at the end! I do plan on returning to Puerto Vallarta again (direct flights make it super quick). Oh, and Matt (I know you[‘re reading this) I’m just a bit ticked off that you planned your vacation the week after mine! Say hi to the amazing city and people for me – let me know if the pancakes at Freddy’s are really as amazing as we were told.
Lessons Learned:
- INTERNATIONAL CALLING PLANS!! Verizon your reps were amazing – they didn’t just help me connect calls, they ALL stayed on the line with me and offered great advice with a sense of humor.
- Southwest was great! Truly the airline of love.
- Again, get the appropriate calling plan added to your cell phone in case the land line in your hotel doesn’t really work.
- Never underestimate the power of a smile and positive attitude.
- 6 foot charging cables are amazing!
- Wheels on your carry luggage. WHEELS!
- Puerta Vallarta is amazing – definitely will go again.
- If there is an emergency have a backup plan and a backup plan for the backup plan.
- Keep smiling – keep perspective. I was blessed to have the ability to leave – if the worst had happened many were not.
- Carol is an amazing travel friend!
- Be nice to people – they are freaked out just like you!
- Ask for advice from people who have been there and done that – Thanks Dad for the email of “things to do if you absolutely MUST shelter in place during a massive Hurricane”
- EVERYONE MUST BUY AND DRINK THIS STUFF!!
You must buy this – DRINK IT!!
Be nice.
Posted by deeryjennifer in Big Questions on July 17, 2014
This past Sunday, someone told me that I was very nice, but that I should be careful no one takes advantage of my niceness. I simply smiled and replied “Thank you for the compliment!” as we parted ways.
When did being nice turn into a disadvantage? I find it sad that someone would equate being nice with being naive. While both begin with the letter ‘n’ their meanings are completely different. Smiling and being nice to someone (even a stranger) is simply another choice. Growing up I would frequently roll my eyes and think to myself that my parents were too nice or that they smiled all the time for no reason.
*Please note that this was while I was an angst ridden teenager who was determined to be cool and aloof.
College and adulthoood have showed me that enjoying life, having fun, and being randomly silly is not a bad thing at all. Life without joy is a life endured. How much better to live your life with joy and fun!
So, the next time you have a chance to be nice to a stranger (I just helped a lady with kids carry her groceries out to her car) take the chance. Spread a little more nice around the world. Maybe start a trend.
People and penguins
Posted by deeryjennifer in Big Questions, penguins on January 25, 2014
I come from a family of talkers. Case in point, I called my mom and she was obviously losing her voice and after saying, I can't talk much, she then proceeded to talk! Perhaps saying my family are talkers is not tottally accurate – rather they are communicators. The ability to communicate with others is often taken for granted.
Of course we can talk to someone, of course we can write a letter (or even a blog!), of course we can draw a picture! Really, all these things are amazing…I can read a story written hundreds, even thousands, of years ago. Even if different languages are spoken, two people can still communicate with each other as anyone who has done the “where is the nearest bathroom” pantomime in a foreign country will attest!
I find people to be consistantly one of the most interesting parts of life. Stories of all forms have always fascinated me and each of us has a story that we tell in some fashion throughout the day. Take time to listen to the stories around you and I bet you will be surprised.
A friend asked me why I began this blog, what my plans for the blog were…and I realized that at the heart, I just wanted a place to tell stories. Yes, eventually there will be links to my children's books when the series is complete, but really, I just wanted a place where I could ramble for a bit every now and then.
I enjoy reading blogs and sites written by people who share snippets and insights – and if anyone enjoys reading this than so much the better.
As for a snippet of life….well, I have discovered a great pleasure….heated car seats when the weather is bitter and cold! Discovering iced over windows was disappointing, especially when I don't have an ice scrapper! But then I realized this just meant more time to sit in my cozy warm seat and listen to music through a sound system where all the speakers work at the same time! One complaint thought, my seat soon became almost too hot to handle….so I had to toggle the setting to “low”. Such a blessing when the low point of my week was being too warm while waiting for car windows to defrost. I leave you with my new greatest thing ever!
Which One?
Posted by deeryjennifer in Big Questions on January 8, 2014
Verb or Noun?
Watching movies, TV, even in casual conversation, our lives sometimes seem dominated by love. Who we love, who loves us, how to have more so we can be happy. Love is analyzed and pursued – with the ultimate goal always just around the corner. The focus is usually on the feelings evoked. Love as a noun, is an almost tangible thing that should be coveted and treasured, just another possession. Who we love or are loved by can be bragged about or taken for granted like other belongings that sit on a shelf until needed. We protect love, yearn for love, dream about love. Love becomes an almost physical entity, an object, a noun.
What happens if we instead consider love as a verb. Love becomes an action, something that we do. Love becomes a choice. Love the noun is easily changed by outside forces. Nouns are able to be changed, sometimes for the better, sometimes for worse. Actions are the cause of change. Love as a verb…. Love as THE verb transmutes into possibilities and joy.
Changing Love into an action gives an entirely different meaning to ” I love you.” No longer a feeling, but a decision taken with purpose. Love a movie? Your new car? Your family or signifigant other? Love the verb is more powerful than the noun. Make a decision with a reason – and Love becomes a concious, knowing action.
I want the Love in my life to be a choice. I choose Love the verb.
This is what happens when you spend too much time considering parts of speech and reading grammar books.
DeeryJennifer 
Recent Comments